70 A memorable holiday experience

In April of this year, I went to Ishigaki island and Yaeyama islands in Okinawa.
Okinawa is in the most southern part of Japan.
They are in the tropical zone.
In April, we can swim in the sea.
The water of the sea is very clear and warm all a year.
There are many and large coral reefs, many kinds of tropical fish, and sea creatures.

A long time ago, Okinawa was not a part of Japan.
It was one country called Ryukyu.
They had an original and different culture from Japan.
They were defeated in the war and Ryukyu become a part of Japan.
In World War II, Okinawa became a violent battle field in the war of Japan and the U.S.
The U.S. defeated Japan, and ruled Okinawa.
In 1972, Okinawa was returned to Japan.
Okinawa (experienced many wars), and many people were killed by the war.

But Okinawan people are good-tempered and easygoing people.
And Okinawa has many beautiful places.
I wanted to go Okinawa, because I was so tired of working days.
I have been to Ishigaki island, a part of Okinawa, for two weeks.
And I also went to some islands around Ishigaki island.
Kuroshima is a island near by Ishigaki island.
One day, I went to Kuroshima and saw as beautiful a seashore as I Had never seen.
There is a large coral reef which makes a nature pool.
I could walk on the shallow reef from seashore to offshore.
And by my side I sat down to a one or two meter depth.
Many tropical fish were swimming near by my feet.
Then I thought that probably the kingdom of the heaven is more beautiful than here.

Why are Okinawan people very good-tempered?
They have so many tragic memories.
I think because they have many beautiful places which remove their tragic memories.
They are not Christian.
But of course, God loves them.
God can reveal Himself through the many beautiful places.

I like Okinawa.
I saw a heaven through the Okinawan sea which is made by God.
And I could pray to God for much more time in there, releasing me from my works.
I had a good time before coming to America.
I could make (myself) to study the Bible in there.
If I feel down, I will remember about Okinawa, the beautiful sea and coral reef, many tropical fish, the people of Okinawa, and I will remember about heaven is the promised land.
And I am refleshed with God's love.

英語の宿題が返ってきました。
予告通り載せます。。
赤は先生に直されたところです。
（）の部分は、意味が通じなかったらしく、先生も直せなかったところです。。
別の言葉に置き換えてみました。これであってるかわからないけど。。
みんなで考えてみて♪ベターな English を。
いやあ、真っ赤だね～～♪